The relationship between mental health and physical illness is intricate and often bidirectional. Mental health issues like anxiety and stress can manifest physically, leading to symptoms such as muscle tension. Conversely, chronic physical illnesses can impact mental health, contributing to conditions like depression and anxiety.
“The body keeps score” is a phrase often used to describe how our bodies physically respond to emotional experiences, including grief (Check out “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk to learn more about how trauma is stored in our bodies). When we grieve, our bodies can bear the weight of our emotions, and these feelings can manifest in various physical symptoms. In my journey through loss and grief, my body experienced acute digestive problems that became chronic due to emotions that felt too overwhelming to deal with. I had to turn my attention toward healing my body while moving through the grief process. The acupuncturist I connected with asked me if I felt like the weight of the grief was crushing me down or if it was difficult for me to face the world because of my loss. To me it felt like both, I felt I was imploding, and that manifested in my body refusing nourishment. Acupuncture helped me heal, as well as yoga for digestive issues. I had to slow down and face my grief, while attending to my body’s basic needs.
Grief can indeed manifest in physical ways, including increased body stress and tension. When we experience a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one, our bodies often react to the emotional turmoil with physical symptoms. We can experience muscle tension, particularly in our back, neck and shoulders, due to the emotional strain of grief and the body’s response to stress. Grief can lead to fatigue and sleep disturbances. Insomnia and disrupted sleep patterns can lead to exacerbation of anxiety and depression. We can struggle with digestive problems, such as stomach pain, nausea, and other acute or chronic conditions. Emotional distress can trigger headaches and body aches in response to stress. Grief and stress can affect our immune system by diminishing white blood cell response, which can make us more susceptible to illness and infections.
Attending to our bodies’ basic needs is crucial while grieving, as the grieving process can be emotionally and physically draining. When we do not take care of our bodies, our minds cannot process emotions well. We can take care of our bodies by eating well balanced meals; making sure we hydrate; prioritizing rest; engaging in some regular physical activity, such as a short walk or stretching; establishing a routine that can provide us with structure and stability; having self compassion, giving ourselves the space and time to grieve; looking for support, being around family and friends;and engaging in relaxing and pleasant activities.
Being in tune with our bodies will help us recognize when physical symptoms of emotions show up. It is important to increase the mind-body connection, and two ways we can do that are by practicing yoga (there is yoga for grief) ;or engaging in mindfulness (increasing awareness of our internal states and surroundings in the present moment, being fully in the now with all our senses, without judgment). Some resources that provide guided mindfulness or grounding sessions are apps such as Calm, Headspace, Declutter the Mind, Balance, and Insight Timer.
Remember that grieving is a unique and individual process, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. It is essential to listen to our bodies and prioritize self-care as we navigate through this challenging time. We cannot attend to our emotional needs without attending to our physical needs. We can take a deep breath and ask ourselves: how did I take care of my body and my mind today?
Written by: Mihaela Stoian, LMHC
