For those currently living with the universal human experience of grief, making New Year’s resolutions for 2024 may not seem like something we are particularly interested in doing. Grief carries with it a myriad of emotions that can affect our motivation and ability to focus, so setting goals is usually something we don’t think much about. One way to help ourselves as we travel through our grief journey is to focus on the Power of Intention.
The power of intention lies in our ability to consciously direct our thoughts and actions toward a purpose, even in the face of profound sorrow. If grief feels like a storm, using the power of intention can help to guide us like a GPS and give us a feeling of control that we might otherwise not feel we have. We become more active participants in our own healing process, rather than feeling like we are always at the whim of strong emotions. (Strong emotions are normal and healthy and are expected with grief, but our pain can be lighter if we are able to harness the emotions in an intentional way).
The first intention we can set for ourselves is to stay open to life. Grief is a psychic wound, and when we are faced with a wound we naturally want to protect it as much as possible. But in the psychological world our wounds often heal fastest when we honor them and open them up, – when we continue to let life in, staying open to people and new experiences as much as we can. While it is natural to need time to ourselves to work through difficult grief-related emotions, we also need to make sure that we don’t close down to the power of life to help us heal. Life can and will help us if we can stay open to it in our grief.
The second way we can use intention is to double down on strengthening our relationships. Grief is often very isolating. Setting an intention to try as best we can to focus on, cultivate, and strengthen relationships of all kinds can be very effective in helping to lift us up emotionally. Friendships in particular can hold powerful healing properties, making us feel less isolated, more connected and supported.
The third way we can use the power of intention is to try to cultivate resilience as best we can. Grief has a way of making us feel fragile, like glass ready to shatter.. By setting the intention to build resilience, we commit to discovering the strength we have inside us, acknowledging that grief is not the end but a transformative journey that shapes us. Setting the intention to be resilient in our grief means embracing the pain as a catalyst for growth, allowing ourselves to bend without breaking.
The fourth way we can use intention is to commit to finding moments of peace. Grief can feel like a relentless storm, but within it, there are moments ot peace waiting to be discovered. Setting the intention to seek moments of peace is an act of self-compassion. This involves creating space for stillness, allowing ourselves to breathe and finding solace in the present moment. In the midst of grief, these moments can foster hope, reminding us that healing is a gradual unfolding.
The fifth way we can use intentionality with grief is to invite ourselves to celebrate the life that once was, rather than solely mourning its loss. Setting the intention to cherish memories and honor the legacy of our loved ones transforms grief into a tribute. It’s finding ways to keep their spirit alive through stories, traditions, and acts of remembrance. In doing so, we shift the focus from the void left behind to the enduring impact of their presence in our lives.
The power of intention when dealing with grief can be transformative. It’s a conscious choice to navigate the complexities of loss with purpose and mindfulness. By setting intentions to stay open to life, cultivate resilience, find moments of peace, foster connections, and celebrate life, we become architects of our own healing. Grief becomes not just a journey of pain but a journey of profound growth and self-discovery.
Stephen Bradbery, LMHC, NCC
